You may be considering couples/marriage counseling after much pain and distress in your relationship. You may be fighting, feeling alone, or like you lost your best friend. It can be scary to look at your partner and not remember feeling close and yet longing for that very closeness. Understanding ourselves in relationship can be extremely challenging when so much of our family of origin and past relationship history is at play.
In our work together I primarily draw on Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT). EFT is all about easing the escalation of the same conflicts and creating (or sometimes re-creating) a safe bond with your beloved so that you can communicate once again. It involves identifying negative relationship cycles so that you can once again feel safe, seen, soothed and secure in your intimate relationship. In addition, we look at concepts linked to Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB) such as states of fight or flight when distressed and we begin to learn to pay attention to and listen to what our our bodies are telling us.
Divorce coaching and blended family counseling
If you are just now coming to this process, you are not alone:
According to the research of Dr. John Gottman, couples feel some level of unhappiness an average of 6 years
before they actually seek help.